


you could do (so much) better

by peterandhispirate



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Fluff, M/M, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-23
Updated: 2016-08-23
Packaged: 2018-08-10 12:58:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7846000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peterandhispirate/pseuds/peterandhispirate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If anyone had mastered the art of stress-eating at one in the morning, it was Josh Dun.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you could do (so much) better

If anyone had mastered the art of stress-eating at one in the morning, it was Josh Dun.

Which is why he was sitting in the dark at his kitchen table with a tub of ice cream and a slightly-bent spoon, too upset to bother with a bowl.

And he _knew_ it was a Wednesday night and he had school in six hours. He _knew_ that he shouldn't be doing this. He _knew_ that he was only proving everyone who called him a loser right.

But at the end of the day, it didn't matter, because he couldn't stop himself.

Instead of turning to alcohol or drugs when he was feeling shitty, he just pulled out some form of junk food and ate way too much of it while his family was asleep.

And he cried. He cried a lot.

He was gross, so gross- he told himself that over and over and over again; each time he thought it, he dug in his spoon yet another time. It was a vicious cycle that only ended when he reached the bottom. Unless there happened to be another tub tucked away somewhere. In that case, he'd probably set into that one, too.

Which brought him to the age-old question: why in blue _hell_ did Tyler Joseph, of all people, have any interest in him whatsoever?

It didn't make any sense. Because Tyler Joseph probably shoots hoops when he's troubled rather than getting himself sick on ice cream. Because Tyler Joseph was everyone's favorite guy. Because Tyler Joseph was the captain of the basketball team,

and just who was Josh? Oh, that's right: a chubby, emotional nerd with dumb, messy hair and braces and low self-esteem.

So how did this work again?

He scraped shakily at the remainder of the ice cream clinging to the plastic bottom, practically choking on the lump in his throat. And, god, he felt so bloated and sick and stupid. Because maybe Tyler would wake up tomorrow and realize that he was dating nothing more than a worthless crybaby who liked food and Star Trek too much.

The thought did little to ease the nausea sitting heavy in his stomach, and for a moment, he swore he was going to throw up a whole gallon of ice cream onto his kitchen table.

Which sounded like something he would do. Because he was _gross_ , so gross, and Tyler was bound to notice sometime or another.

In fact, for all he knew, the basketball captain was wide awake at that very moment, pondering how to break it off without making Josh cry like the little bitch he was.

Josh sniffled and hiccuped before polishing off the ice cream for good and rising on shaky legs to throw the now-empty tub away.

All he could think about as he shamefully set his spoon in the sink was how he'd need to explain to his mother where all the rocky road had gone when she'd only bought it two days ago. And he'd probably say something like, _"I dunno, Mom, it was probably Abby,"_ before retreating upstairs to his room and locking the door.

And crying. Crying a lot.

Actually, 'crying a lot' was up next on his list of things to do at one a.m.; he fled from the dark kitchen and trudged up the stairs, damning how full and disgusting he felt.

Slinking past his parents' room, he finally reached his door and slipped across the threshold with a strangled sigh-sob combination.

As soon as he heard the soft _click_ of the door closing behind him, he felt tears bubbling in his eyes, hot and wet and familiar. And he went straight to his bed, crumpling atop it with a choked cry that  tore his throat in two.

Burying his flushed, tear-streaked face in his pillow, he wept uselessly into the fabric, fingers curling into it; gripping it so tight that his knuckles went white.

Eventually he abandoned the pillow in order to curl up into a tight, shameful ball among his mess of Star Wars sheets (which he left tears on as well.) He trembled like a puppy in a snowdrift- if puppies can have braces and oceans full of tears and boyfriends they definitely didn't deserve.

That was when his phone hummed softly, and he could hardly read the notification due to the blurriness of his eyes:

_1 New Text Message From: ty the guy_

 

_is everything ok?? u were kinda quiet at school today. just wanted to make sure ur doing fine._

 

Josh certainly was not doing fine. But he couldn't say that, of course, couldn't let Tyler know that he was just being an overdramatic, disgusting piece of shit.

So, with shaky fingers, he managed to type back _im good_.

A few moments later, his phone hummed again: _no ur not. u would be asleep otherwise 'cause of the biology test tomorrow. im coming over_.

Josh was too exhausted to argue, to reply with something like _no no no, you don't have to_. He just set his phone aside with quivering fingers and waited for Tyler to find him like this: ugly and emotional and shaking.

And maybe this was when Tyler broke up with him. The moment when he finally realized that he was dating a fucking loser who drowned his sorrows in frozen dairy.

There was a patient knock on his window.

Heart lodged in his throat, he dragged himself shakily out of bed so he could unlatch it for Tyler, who tumbled into his room and to the floor with a soft _oof_.

Josh was at a loss. What did he do? Help him up? Stare? Say something, anything?

Fortunately for him, Tyler knew his boyfriend like the back of his hand and recognized when he was in no state of mind to make any decisions.

So he just stood and hugged him.

It was one in the morning and they were hugging in Josh's room, Tyler's arms gentle and lulling around him; as the basketball captain murmured soft, soothing words in his ear, Josh buried his damp face in one of his shoulders and hiccuped pitifully.

"S'okay, baby, I've got you," Tyler cooed into his neck, gently rubbing the small of his back as he sniffled helplessly. "I'm here now, Josh, it's okay."

"But- but it's _not_ okay, Tyler, it's not okay, because you could do so much better than me and I _know_ you could and it's like you don't even realize it, and did you know I ate a whole goddamn tub of ice cream before you got here? A whole _tub_ , Tyler, all because I'm so fucking gross and weak and oh, god, you could do so much _better-_ "

"Shh, shh," Tyler hushed him softly before he could tear himself apart any further, rocking him slow and sweet in his arms. "Let's go sit down, okay? Come on."

So he guided the shaky, whimpering Josh over to the bed by the hand, gently sitting him down; joining him a moment later and squeezing their webbed fingers encouragingly. 

And then he murmured, "Josh, honey. Do you really believe that I could do better than you?"

A weak nod.

"Well, that's where you're wrong. You know why?" When Josh just blinked at him with glassy eyes, he continued with a soft smile, "Because you're the best thing that's ever happened to me, Josh Dun. And it doesn't get much better than that, now does it?"

And Josh could only stare in wonderment, because _him?_ The best thing that had ever happened to Tyler Robert Joseph? Impossible. "You're... Seriously? You think I'm- how? Why?"

" _Why?_ Hmm, let's see," Tyler hummed softly, tapping on his chin. "Well, for starters, you're super smart- so smart that it blows my mind, actually, and I probably would've failed biology without you. And you have a laugh sent from God above. And I could listen to you talk about Star Trek for hours, because if it makes you happy, it damn well makes me happy. And then there's the way your braces catch the light perfectly when you smile, just when I thought your smile couldn't get any cuter- _and_ I think your tummy is cute. So there's that."

Well. Josh certainly hadn't expected that his face would be a warm pink at one a.m., but there was Tyler, grinning at him in the loveliest and most sincere way.

And all he could think of to do was lean sleepily against him and whisper, "So you _don't_ care that I just ate a whole tub of ice cream?"

Tyler buried his nose in his messy hair and cooed wispily, "All I care about is whether you're happy or not, Josh. That's all I'll _ever_ care about."

And then they were wriggling under Josh's covers, Tyler's arms wrapped snug and secure around his boyfriend's middle, holding him close and nuzzling the back of his neck as he murmured, "Do you think your parents will mind if I stay the night?"

Josh just smiled sleepily, eyelids gliding shut as he replied, "Not at all."

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this at one a.m. lmao,, save me from this hell


End file.
